I remember being tortured every single night in my own bed, because of the awful reality that I would never again wake up next to you.
I hated sleeping all alone, I hated the empty house when Andrew was gone, I hated the quiet and the loneliness, I didn’t like Being left alone with my thoughts, the gnawing questions
“why was I left here?
What is my purpose?
How can I make sure your death is not in vain?
What Would you want for me?
How can I best honor you and make you proud by the story I’m writing every single day?”
I remember if I got to the end of my day and I didn’t cry more than once or I didn’t forget to feed myself, it was quite an accomplishment.
I remember choking on my coffee as I would take a sip and a sob would come up in my throat.
Remembering to breathe? That took a very long time. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my lungs.
I remember feeling guilty that I was still here, still breathing. I would have gladly given you my lungs. Ok
I remember the dark, thick blanket of hopelessness and doubt that I would ever feel joy again.
I remember how your ashes felt slipping through my fingers into Lake Michigan in July.
I remember the first Valentine’s Day, the first easter, the first Mother’s Day, our first wedding anniversary, Father’s Day, my first birthday, first trip back to Michigan without you for Christianna’s college graduation, Elisabeth’s first birthday, the death of our first grandchild through miscarriage, your first birthday, the kids first birthdays, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, the first family vacation without you, the first New Year’s,
and now the one-year anniversary.
I remember the first few Sundays, sitting in church without you next to me and looking around at all the beautiful couples and families and feeling such despair.
I like the line in this song “go write a story that you can’t wait to tell me… On the other side”
Baby, that’s exactly what I’m doing…
I wanna make you and my Heavenly Father proud.
I’ll see you in the morning, Darling, I’ll see you in the morning.
This elevated my coffee experience to a whole new level of tastiness and health and well-being each time I drink it.
It’s on Amazon or in Costco.
You’re welcome.
I also add a tablespoon burdock root ? concentrated Tea that I make up ahead of time for the week to get 102 fabulous minerals from the earth into my body.
I also discovered how blessed I am to have a rainwater system because the minerals are so rich in it. Lack of minerals contributes to just about all diseases.
“if you’ve had the better part of five decades to become the man of my dreams, and you haven’t done it yet, don’t think you’re going to sell me on your potential.
All I care about is your track record, I know what I want and I won’t settle.
people may say it’s impossible to which I reply, I’m only looking for one man and I know he’s out there.”
“No,” said Pooh after a bit. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“That’s okay,” said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.
“What are you doing?” asked Pooh.
“Nothing, really,” said Piglet. “Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don’t feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.
“But goodness,” continued Piglet, “Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you’ve got someone there for you. And I’ll always be here for you, Pooh.”
And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs…he thought that his best friend had never been more right.” A.A. Milne
Sending thoughts to those having a Difficult Day today and hope you have your own Piglet to sit beside you
Re-posting with a flood of tears… you have no idea the horrors of the hospital death camp
My COVID widow friend is now fighting for the life of her daughter in a hospital,
@Janie Mathews Andrews
Here she recounts the murder story of her husband:
“Ok, Im gonna get real transparent here. My husband was hospitalized at MIMC after his blood oxygen dropped due to copd & he needed supplemental oxygen therapy on March 6th of 2021. They said he was covid positive though he tested neg on Mar 3rd & chest x-rays were clear. They would not allow me into the ER & only called my cell phone to say he was covid positive & they were admitting him. Admissions filled out a consent form & signed my initals & name but did not speak to me about it. They immediately began to flood his body with multiple strong antibiotics & other drugs. On Mar 8th Dr Erdman saw my husband and was told he (my husband) did not want to be intubated, DNI. That was documented & Dr called me to confirm which I did & told him about his advance directive. Dr Erdman documented my husband was indeed a DO NOT INTUBATE (no ventilator). On Mar 9th, the very next day, the same Dr saw my husband & put on his report, patient is a DNR (Do not resuscitate) and that followed my husband throughout his 20 day stay at MIMC on the covid floor. They continued the overabundance of multiple strong antibiotics, Remdesivir & other strong drugs causing thrush, breathing issues & other negative side effects. But my husband tried to remain positive talking about “when I get out” & “I’m being patient as a patient should”. He had been on a nasal cannula & a high flow mask oxygen source but his regular pulmonologist began to lower the levels and told him he was doing good…again, documented. At day 10 he should have come off the covid floor & I was to be able to stay with him. As day 10 drew to a close they increased his oxygen & my husband wondered why but no reason was given. They said because his lungs were bad he’d have to stay on the floor another 10 days. Well that was totally deflating news for us both because they would not let me be with him. They continued to increase the oxygen levels, again they gave no reason. When you are on this much oxygen for very long it actually harms your lungs. Between the overuse of drugs that were doing nothing to help him and the high volumes of oxygen were actually causing him to get worse. In every Dr report it states positive for covid-19 & in parentheses it states that the chest x-rays do not support that diagnosis…every single day from admittance until he died. On every single Dr report it states Dr did not speak to family. On Mar 22nd I got a call from the nurse asking if I wanted to see him for 15 min….I’ve been asking ever since he was admitted, YES, I DO WANT TO SEE HIM!!!!!! He was so excited. He called me and said is it true? Are you coming to see me? I said yes honey, I’m on my way. He said, don’t hang up, just talk to me all the way here and I did. When I walked in his room (on this floor I haven’t been allowed on for 16 days) he was sitting up in bed videoing me walk in his room with his cell phone. He took a pic of me & the nurse who got me up there & I took one of him & her. He said, when I get home we are going to do something special for her. 15 min seemed like 5 but I wasn’t going to buck it because I wanted to get to come back. I asked his nurse outside the elevator why I had all of a sudden been allowed up & she said because he had been really down & emotional & she thought it would boost his spirits…IT DID! But it just didn’t make sense to me why I couldn’t come up before then. He face timed me at 11 that night…he was just so glad for our visit. On the 23rd I heard nothing, this worried me. I left msgs but didn’t get a call back. On the 24th, a nurse called to tell me his vitals were good and no big changes. I asked to come back up & she said she had to get permission. She called an hour & a half later to tell me I could. I expected a visit much like the 22nd but when I walked in, End of Life had been started on him without any consultation or notification from any Dr at all. My precious husband was heavily drugged on morphine & ativan & left to die. He wasn’t conscious & I had no idea how long he had been this way. I told them I wanted the drugs stopped & a bag of fluids given. The nurse said they had to get Dr orders. They paged him 3 times that evening with no response. I was giving my husband sips of water through a straw all night long. I fired his pulmonary team after they didn’t answer the pages & I realized they were killing him. I was told on the morning of the 25th that I would have to leave, I told them I would not leave without my husband. They said they’d have to get the administrator and I said that’s fine, get me the ethics committee too because no one consulted me about any of this! They left and never came back with anyone. I immediately called a facility where I knew people to get him moved and they said all they needed was a neg covid test and they’d take him. They sent to have test done. He was NEGATIVE!!! He was negative on 3/3 & he was negative on 3/25…he never had covid!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, its documented. He was subjected to drugs that weakened his body & immune system & a week before he passed he was given a drug which caused afib…he refused to take it again and yet they continued it against his wishes until the 26th when he died. They stole his life & a huge part of mine. Strange thing, this floor where “no one could visit” all of a sudden had me, his 1st wife & 6 of our children with him ON THE COVID FLOOR. There no excuse for keeping loved ones apart. That leaves way too much opportunity with no accountability for drs to deem a patient, with or without underlying conditions, to just be drugged to death & say oh covid got them. They listed covid on my husband’s death certificate though 2 tests prove otherwise…both documented. Our advance directive was never recorded & they listed him as not having one & a DNR which we never agreed to, only DNI, also documented. After ordering all of his records we have noted so many inconsistencies, Dr reports that are just copied & pasted for days in a row with different Drs name put on them. My visit on mon the 22nd was never documented and the conversation I had with the nurse was listed only partially in records on wed when I found him in a coma. The video & pics he took from mon the 22nd mysteriously wound up in his trash file. But my daughter found them and they are dated & time stamped. I’m sure all they saw was a 75 yr old man with copd & diabetes, why not drug him & let him die… But what they didn’t see is he is my world and my world has been shattered!!! Had I not seen him on mon the 22nd, I might would’ve bought the lie being perpetrated on wed the 24th but no way in hell he went from mon afternoon sitting up videoing, taking pics to laying in a coma dying a day & a half later…he did not have covid. They determined he would die & followed through. I will not sit idly by while more people die. If your loved one died & you have felt somethings not right, you need to listen to that still small voice & follow up to find out the truth. And Governor Ivey, to pass any statutes removing responsibility of health care workers no matter what is going on is to give them permission to kill & be protected. I don’t know how any of you involved in this can live with yourselves. I won’t rest until changes are made at the highest levels!!!!!!! Please feel free to share, so everyone can know…YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU LOVED ONE & WHY!!!!!! AND TELL ANYONE YOU KNOW HAVING A SIMILAR SITUATION TO CONTACT ME.
Another big fat paycheck for a Minnesota hospital as they succeeded with Thomas Suggs!!!
It’s so easy for them to trade a life for money!
They got over $100,000 to take my husband out.
money money money, always follow the money…
Will you be next?
Will it be your loved one?
Not until we unite with one voice, and stand up to this monster will the madness end!
I can’t imagine what my Co$ vid Widow friend Janie is going through now fighting for the life of her daughter in the hospital.
It appears the new variant is even more deadly. De pop Ulation.
the good side that is fighting to protect lives is putting on a rally March 25 at the Alamo to honor our loved ones that were sacrificed for money and to raise awareness that it’s still going on and take action to stop it!
You can make a difference and stand up and let your voice be heard if you show up to that rally.
If I believe (whether I’m right or not) that there’s an invisible enemy plotting to harm and kill my brothers and sisters, but I don’t care enough to warn them, what kind of a monster would you judge me to be?
You can persecute me all you want, as long as there’s breath in my body, I won’t stop trying to warn you of the no danger ??
If that offends you, feel free to unfriend or unfollow me now!
If truth offends you, you can’t be helped!
Love and truth are often not as popular as hate and lies!
I am a PISSED OFF Patriot!
Who is with me?
Dear God,
Replace a sincere Love for all of humanity for all the bitterness and Betrayals of my past.
Forgive me for judging them when I was guilty too and you never withheld forgiveness and love from me.
Dear friend
I think we both are trying to save humanity. That is noble. You are not my enemy. Our enemy is invisible and I’m mad because they are lying to us because they benefit from us being controlled by their agenda.
Let our battle cry be for TRUTH, light, and liberty, not a vaccine!
If you think a vaccine will restore your freedoms…
The only way to restore our freedoms is to stand up, wake up, band together and say NO MORE!!! We the people have all the power but we are not using it! WHY??
Give me liberty or give me death!
Those who would trade essential liberty for safety deserve neither.
Why do you think this crime is tolerated in modern history? When’s the last time you heard someone convicted of this?
Treason is defined as intentionally betraying one’s allegiance by levying war against the government or giving aid or comfort to its enemies. It’s the most serious offense one can commit against the government and is punishable by imprisonment and death.
WHO is glad Trump defunded the WHO? They used our tax dollars to lie to us. Does this make you angry?
Who benefits when an economy crashes?
Elite? Rich get richer?
Who likes the 8 month trial we’ve had of NEW WORLD ? ORDER?
Is it about helping the people or controlling them?
Is it about prosperity for the hard working American or the Elite?
?lockdowns
?the rich get richer while the poor get poorer
?shut down and destroy small businesses while big ones like amazon, Walmart and Home Depot explode!
?censorship to steal your right to free speech
?voter fraud to steal your right to vote
?all mainstream news media lies to you
?WHO and CDC lies to you
?restricted from going to church and gatherings more than 10
?curfews
?can’t go outside without a mask on
?forced to stay in your home
?not free to travel and vacation like we used to
?some cannot gather more than 5 people in a home including for holidays
?kids left to school themselves; many are failing
?more depression and suicides
On the positive note, no one has died of old age, and we’ve reduced deaths from heart disease and cancer.
(Key: look at coroners Report not medical reports)
There’s proof and evidence that they even rigged the test results of the COVID tests we took and many read positive when they were negative!!
And Now…
possible forced vaccines ?
Does anyone feel like we are living in a HORROR Movie? ?
Todd and I have spent hours and hours since the election digging in to find TRUTH!!!
All I can say is we now have an incredible amount of PEACE as we understand the chess game between the white hats and the black hats and we know who wins and it’s right around the corner. Victory is imminent. We the People have woken up and are using our voices as weapons through our devices ??????
We use these To
1. Educate ourselves
And
2. to educate and help protect our fellow men.
We are digital soldiers!
We are patriots! We are Eagles!
And we are everywhere!
Our power comes from waking up to the lies and deception and then banding together in unity, fighting for truth, freedom, and liberty!!
We have the power!
And they are afraid of us!
Why else do they censor us and try so hard to keep us from gathering together?
Who wants to join the digital soldier army???
Feel free to reach out to me for resources and links.
Do you find it hypocritical that the left side screams a woman’s right to her own body and her right to murder a baby in her body,
But now they don’t think a woman, man, or child should Have the right to decide to be injected or not?
Who thinks their governor, state reps and congressmen really work for “we the people”. The ones who work so hard to pay for their salary and lifestyle?
Have they suffered at all from this pandemic?
Should we fire them?
Force a pay cut?
What if their election was fraudulent too and we the people did NOT elect them????
Your vote decides if your children will grow up in a socialist Ameeica or a free America!!
If there’s such a thing as a
Righteous Rebel,
Would you classify yourself as one?
Blog: marriage
Declaration of ind
Politics
God!!
?Transfection/Gene modification
?Luciferase enzyme
?hydrogel (nano technology or microscopic robots). This is like a Permanent GPS tracking device! Who would control me? Would I lose my freedoms?
?prove Bill Gates and other evil criminals don’t benefit from humans taking this vaccine ?
?no MRC-5 (human baby Parts)
Don’t take my word for it.
Do your own research!
Look for proof that it’s not harmful!
Don’t be lied to! Demand to know the truth!
Masks…proven it does not stop the spread and actually harms your immune
System
Did Jeff bezos (amazon)
make $160 billion this year!!
19 has eliminated pneumonia, COPD, old age, sids, UTI infections, smoking deaths 480,000 per year,
Heart attack, because they all die of 19 now. The doctors call it so they get $38,000. A infant died of being born with bowels outside her abdomen. She was declared 3 covid deaths for over 100,000$
If a person fully understands the risk to their own body and decides to take it, that’s fine, but those who administer it will not be telling you the truth! That’s a fact! So you must do your own research ? before you let them inject you!
That’s what we care about!
We care about other humans and we have absolutely nothing to gain!!!
No agenda but saving lives from unnecessary harm!
If you don’t know exactly what’s in the vaccine, please watch this!!
