written by a 19 year old, Christianna Snyder
From the moment we were born we’ve been told we’re special and unique and that we’re all winners. Every kid on the sports team got a trophy as the line between winning and losing became blurred until it was non-existent. Parents want to believe that their child is a prodigy and they want to foster that uniqueness – to the detriment of their child and of society. We are a product of our circumstances – entitlement and independence have been bred into us and are now an intrinsic part of who we are. It’s time that our parents own up to their mistakes and stop blaming ‘millennials’ for being unprepared for life because it was their job to equip us for adult life and they have failed, miserably. Most 18 year olds graduate high school and have no idea how to write a check or cook anything more complicated than Mac N’ Cheese. We are no longer being taught the life skills that are necessary to be fully-functioning adults and productive members of society. Likewise, we all think we are the most special people on the planet and that we can do anything – this mindset should be good and in some cases it is but more often than not, it breeds arrogance, entitlement, and pride.
Because we’re being pushed into adulthood at increasingly younger ages, without the right tools to succeed, and without the maturity to make adult decisions, we’re making mistakes. It’s normal to make mistakes at any stage of life, however, these mistakes have dire consequences. With the rise of technology and our more sedentary lifestyles, it’s completely unreasonable for parents to continue comparing their lives to ours. We are constantly barraged by social media and our need for attention has spiked dramatically. Girls spend their nights crying into their pillows because their latest Instagram post only got 12 likes. Our parents can’t even fathom what that type of social need is like because they’ve never experienced anything like it. When they were growing up, they cried because Johnny didn’t want to sit with them at lunch or Sally didn’t call them to talk before bed. 12 year old girls look like they’re 18 and the world ltreats them as such. Over-sexualization of young girls coupled with society’s acceptance and indeed encouragement of pre-marital sex is leading to an increase in abortions, adoptions, and divorce. When girls are treated like adults at the cusp of their teenage years, their brains are unable to make the decisions they’re expected to make and they aren’t ready to handle that type of responsibility at such a young age. This is part of the reason couples are getting married so young but also why many marriages end in divorce so rapidly.
Every day some young adult is called an entitled brat by an elder. The problem is that it isn’t our fault. Our parents are forced to work 2 and sometimes 3 jobs just to support their families, leaving little time for their children. Mothers no longer take up the role of homemaker because they can’t afford to. Parents divorce because they can’t stand each other any more. The result of all of this is children who have been given anything they could ever want. A 7-year-old says they want an iPhone X for Christmas and their parents ask if they want black or gold. Respect, discipline, and patience are no longer traits that are taught. Until we realize that and stop expecting our children to display those characteristics we will be at odds with our future generations.
That’s not to say that this is entirely our parents faults, because it isn’t. We make choices and we have to own up to them as well, however, it’s impossible to expect us to make the right
choices when we just don’t know how. We’re being taught to internalize our feelings and be ‘instagram ready’ 24/7 which means we no longer know how to express our feelings or emotions to our peers or elders. We shut down because we no longer feel good enough or pretty enough or happy enough. We can see how ‘amazing’ everyone else’s lives are and that causes us to be in a constant state of comparison and competition. ‘James has a party every night and everyone has the best time ever, I guess I must be boring because I don’t have parties.’ We’ve become too focused on showing only the pretty parts of our lives to the world, not sharing the pain, loss, and frustration.
My generation has stopped talking to our parents and telling them how our day at school was because it’s too hard. Either our parents don’t have time to listen, are focused on other things, or we end up being lectured and told what terrible kids we are or to just suck it up: I had to walk up hill both ways to school so you’ll be fine. Our society has almost completely done away with family dinners; a time which was traditionally spent discussing our day and frustrations. Parents don’t have time to show up to special events, and despite the fact that we hide our disappointment by saying ‘that’s fine, you don’t have to come’ it cuts deep. We no longer feel supported, heard, or sometimes even loved by our parents. They just don’t show up for us anymore – physically and emotionally. Because they can’t understand our lives or empathize with our problems, they turn it against us and said ‘well you made that decision’ or ‘you have it so easy compared to when I was growing up.’ While both those statements hold some truth, they don’t express and love or compassion and only further alienate us and make us feel alone. If you, our parents, who should be our most trusted confidants and compassionate friends can’t support us or love us despite our faults, then no one can.
Parents, I implore you to stop and think about how you treat your children. Do you criticize their every move? Do you listen to them? Do you show them compassion? Or do you lash out in anger when they make mistakes and act immature? It’s time that you stop rushing to conclusions and judging us so harshly, most of us have the social and mental maturity of our middle school selves because we’ve shut down emotionally and didn’t learn how to mature. That is why we have trouble making adult decisions. That is why we spend all our time on our phones, seeking that virtual acceptance and love. That is why so many of us are depressed and lonely. That is why we seek attention from the opposite sex at such a young age. That is why we rush into relationships without thinking. That is why we don’t talk to you. Because you aren’t giving us what we need.
From the moment we were born we’ve been told that we’re special. Everyone is a winner and we’re all God’s greatest gift to the world. In America, we’ve initiated a ‘No Child Left Behind’ ideology which has destroyed the line between winners and losers, the smart and the dumb, and the avhievers and non-achievers. It started with giving every child on the soccer team a trophy – winners and losers alike – then it affected our classes as well. Schools no longer taught to the middle/average student, pulling up the lower levels and giving the highest levels accelerated programs. Instead, our curriculums have been watered down to suit the dumbest kid in each class. This effectively alienates the rest of the students as they aren’t being forced to try to succeed-causing them to seek stimulation elsewhere. This is why kids hate going to school, don’t do their homework, and fall asleep in class. Of course, all of those things would happen regardless but no to such a great extent as we witness today. Teachers are no longer fostering independent thought or teaching their students how to survive the more rigorous teaching style of college professors. This is what’s causing so many students to flunk out of college-they simply weren’t prepared for it.
Every parent wants to believe their child is the smartest, the most athletic, or most popular-a prodigy, if you will. They push their children to stay on the football team despite years of protestations and fights. They place unreasonable academic expectations on their children, getting upset when their A+ student receives an A and even punishing them for it. As a society, we are no longer celebrating life moments and enjoying the things that make life enjoyable and instead focusing on our outward appearance and showing the world a perfect facade.
My generation isn’t being taught how to deal with their mistakes and how to learn and grow from them. Parents either shelter their kids from outside influence in which case they don’t allow their children to make mistakes or, they allow their child to have too much independence and they are constantly making mistakes. Either way, we don’t know how to come back from these mistakes because we aren’t allowed to make them in safe, healthy environments. Our parents are responsible for keeping us alive, teaching us to be productive members of society, and showing us the love of God. The chasm between Christian and non-Christian families is widening and it’s evident in today’s society. Christian parents think secular traditions and ideas are evil and have begun ‘shielding’ their children from society, sheltering them. While a certain amount of sheltering is almost a requirement of being a Christian-God calls us to turn away from evil and keep our eyes on him-when we begin denying the existence of things like the LGBTQ+ community, porn, or divorce we are only hurting ourselves and not effecting any sort of change. Whatever your personal convictions are on any of those issues, do you really think pretending they don’t exist is helping anyone? When your children leave your home they will be constantly exposed to every bad thing you have hidden from them for their entire lives. By ignoring these issues rather than teaching your children right from wrong and building that foundation, you are crippling them. I can guarantee that at some point in our lives, everyone will meet someone in the LGBTQ+ community or someone who is divorced. We will also be exposed to porn and maybe be tempted to have pre-marital sex or even engage in it. You cannot hide from it, it’s simply a part of our world and something we have to learn to deal with. The problem is, when children are sheltered from all of these things, they are more likely to be harsh and judge their peers and instead of loving them and being their friend, they become their enemy. As humans, we tend to disagree with and shut out anything we don’t understand or like. That’s not to say
that if you disagree with divorce, you should constantly expose your children to that. It’s more about acknowledging that divorce exists and not writing it off as a sin no question. Everyone who gets divorced does so for different reasons-some of which are very real and very serious. For centuries the Christian community has ‘shunned’ divorce and individuals who have been divorced because we were all taught that it was wrong. Instead of teaching our children that if they marry someone who abuses them-physically and emotionally-that divorce is an option we shut down any conversation about divorce at the start. As a result, Christian millenials believe that they have no choice but to lie down and accept their fate because their family would never accept them or their decision-they instead opt for a life of misery, depression, and abuse.
As a result of the emergence of social media, YouTube, and society’s encouragement of pre-marital sex we have begun to oversexualize young girls. Young girls at the cusp of their teenage years look like adults and are being treated as such. Walking down the street or scrolling through Instagram, you would never know that that beautiful young woman who looks at least eighteen actually just turned thirteen last week. We have started treating our teenage girls as if they are adults and expecting them to make adult decisions when their brains are literally incapable of doing so. It is completely unreasonable to expect a twelve-year-old to make the same decision as a twenty-year-old would when faced with the same situation. They don’t have the life experience and knowledge of the world or the maturity to
