5 years ago this month [pride month], I came out to my family and publicly as a lesbian. I was convinced. Set in my ways that I was born that way and that no one or nothing could ever change that.

But God. He moved and molded my heart into a sculpture of His grace. Forgiveness. Love. Compassion. Understanding. He used people in my life at that time in the summer of 2016 to show me what He wanted for me, and that what I wanted for myself was leading nowhere good and was not the same.

If wasn’t my sexuality that was my destruction. It was my sin. It was my heart posture. It was my choices in my struggles and temptations. It was my lust. My pride. My feelings as Truth instead of His Word as Truth. I was lost. I was confused. I was mad. I wanted sorrow not healing. I wanted pleasure because I was simply in pain.

I was insecure. I believed I deserved nothing yet wanted everything but was looking in the wrong places. All of them.

But God. He picked me up and listened. And while He listened He healed me. He saved me. And He delivered me. He was always running after me.

Today I live a life that strives to please God and not man. I no longer identify as a lesbian and desire a husband and children. My purpose is to please the spirit and not the flesh. To see the eternal Kingdom plan instead of my own, broken and worldly one. I live dying to my flesh daily. A struggle that I will probably always have. It is not easy. But it is the best decision I ever made so I continue to lean on my father.

He wants you free. He wants you at peace. Pride is the starting root of self destruction. Praise God for His new mercies daily and His deliverance. I serve a God of true love and true forgiveness. Thank you Jesus. He did it for me. He can do it for you. He wants to witness your birth again. Into His arms.