First, I would like to thank everyone who was able to join us today to celebrate the amazing life of the world’s greatest father and husband. Of course, as his favorite child, I’m obligated to say that, but I truly mean it. My father was THE best father I could have ever asked for and God knew exactly what kind of man I would need to guide and teach me throughout my life. Second, I would like to thank everyone who prayed and supported us during his grueling medical battle – I know he was so grateful for all the people who surrounded our family, and particularly my mother, with love and kindness and took care of us in his absence. So many people wrapped my mother in love and cared for many of her physical needs which allowed her to focus on being there for my father while he valiantly fought for his life. Third, I would like to thank God for giving me 23 wonderful years with my favorite man of all time.
Each day of our lives is a collection of moments. Moments where we love, moments where we laugh, moments where we cry, and all the moments in between. In some of those moments we’re strong and in some we’re weak but no moment on its own it a true representation of who we are. It’s only a piece of the puzzle showing our past, present, and future. The lives we touched, the lives we lived, the lives we lost, and the lives we created. I have 23 years’ worth of moments spent with my father and even if I had a million more it would never be enough – most of those moments I remember of my dad are him smiling or laughing because that’s what he did. He was just amazed with life and God’s creation and so happy to be a part of this world. He loved tractors, farms, ice cream, pizza, Mountain Dew, and his family. He wasn’t great at communication and we always told him he needed to call us more but we all knew how much he loved us and he was always there when we really needed him – even if I had to call my mom to hand him the phone so he would answer.
I will never have hugged him enough or told him I loved him enough. I will never have learned enough from him or heard enough stories about his life. And while it’s unfair that I lost so many potential moments, I know that I will see him again in Heaven and I will have all of eternity to hug him and love on him and hear him laugh and we can catch up on all the lost time. Some of my favorite moments spent with my dad were spent playing card games, learning how to build things with him, laughing with him, and listening to him tell stories of his life.
I knew that someday I would have to bury my father – I think that every child has that realization at some point. Of course, I thought it would be after a long, happy life in which he got to walk me down the aisle to marry a man as amazing as he was, a life in which he spent time with my children and taught them to give the best hugs just as he taught me, and a life in which I had decades more memories with him and words of wisdom to cling to. Instead, I had 23 years of learning from him, loving him, and making memories with him. I take comfort in the fact that he is no longer in pain and can finally rest and be really and truly lazy for the first time in his life. I’m sure he’s having a great time driving tractors and playing with all the farm equipment with his father and brother in Heaven and I wouldn’t want anything less for him.
He was my first love, my first teacher, my first friend, my first confidante, my first partner in crime, and the first man to take me on a date. Every good thing I am, I have, and I’ve done is a direct result of his and my mother’s parenting and love. He was the one who taught me
the importance of working hard, doing everything I do with excellence, and to love others as Christ loves me. He was there for so many of my firsts and I know that he’ll be there for all the rest of them.
I was his “Christi girl” and I cannot wait until the day when I get to hear him call me that again as he wraps me in his arms for one of his world-famous hugs. As a kid he used to take my sister and I on a date every year on our birthday and we got dressed up and he made us feel so special and taught us what we should expect from a future spouse. It probably would have been easier not to have such an incredible example though, because I could expect less from men. No one will ever measure up, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. He even brought flowers to the opening night of the first musical I was a part of here in Kerrville, and never hesitated to tell me how much he loved me or give me 10 hugs a day. I used to smother him in kisses and hugs anytime I saw him and even when it was extreme, he just laughed me off and couldn’t keep a straight face as he said, “now that’s enough.” Even when he tried to be harsh it was with a hint of laughter and a twinkle in his eye.
As I’m sure you know, he loved to golf and went any chance he got. From the time I was probably 7 years old I was obsessed with driving the golf cart anytime we went and dad was more than content teaching me to drive it and letting me take on that responsibility. As I grew older and more sure of my driving capabilities my golf cart driving became a bit more reckless and I applied my ‘full send’ motto with vigor – pedal to the medal. He never complained though. In fact, he happily let me drive him around and take the turns just a bit too fast or take the long way around to the next hole.
I have so many fond memories of my dad but what I will remember most is how kind and gentle and fun he was. He was always quick with a joke or a smile – even in the face of sadness or hard times. We always begged to spend time with him and go to work with him whenever we could and loved convincing him to run to the gas station for ‘snacks’ when we were out (which was pretty often). He was the greatest teacher and the most patient man I’ve ever met – unless we were playing volleyball. He was a ball hog and I remember many occasions where he actually pushed me out of the way to get the ball. He was also the world’s fastest Nertz (aka Dutch Blitz) player and it was my life’s mission to one day be faster than him – spoiler alert – I achieved that goal a few years ago and it was a very proud moment for me. He was often on somewhat remote worksites without working bathrooms so he would use Mountain Dew bottles as his bathroom and leave them in his truck. Once we found this out, a sniff test of each bottle was mandatory before taking a sip. Somehow this didn’t deter us from drinking his drinks completely but it probably should have.
I do remember one time where he was upset with us though. We were living in Dewitt, Michigan, in the beautiful house that he built us, and we had a garden. I think it was summertime and we had plants in the garden but a section on one side was empty. So, Elisabeth and I were playing our favorite game – jumping on the trampoline after hosing it down. Then we had the brilliant idea to create a mudslide in the empty section of the garden. We quickly set to work spraying down the entire section with water and giving it a good soak before we began sliding down the mudslide we’d created (the garden was built on an incline and made for a great slide).
Dad of course was upset that we made more work for him and destroyed part of his garden. Even then, though, he was gentle but firm.
I came to visit dad in early December after a particularly rough night when he wasn’t expected to last through the next day. I will cherish that visit for years to come because 3 of his sisters went with me and he was so alert and happy and excited to see us. He had 2 good days and we sang with him and told stories and he gave me some interesting dating advice that still makes me laugh. When I left a week later, I told him that he’d better be good and come see me soon because it was his turn now. He’s obviously playing hard to get and clearly did not listen to my instructions but I’ll get him someday – I know where he lives.
To know my dad was to know the true and pure love of The Father. He perfectly embodied 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 which says: Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
He never held a grudge. Even when people in his life constantly wronged him. Instead he loved. He was never rude or one to say things in anger. He never wished harm on anyone and was quick to rejoice with others in good times and mourn with them in bad. He was so strong and wise and gave the best advice. You know those people you meet in life who are just so pure and true and wonderful? Who are unapologetically themselves? Who are somehow great at everything they do? Always ready with an answer to any question (even if that answer is total bs)? That was my dad. He was truly one of a kind in every single way.
I hope that someday I will be able to love like him and find a love like he gave. And I pray that all of you who knew him keep his memory alive and love like he did – without reserve and without any hint of malice in your heart. He was a wonderful father, son, husband, brother, and friend who made the world a brighter place with his presence and could light up a room with his smile. He was truly one of the good ones and we are all better off for having him be a part of our lives.
